(Same boy, 6months after treatment)
HHF does a great job getting the kids healthy but also educate parents about how to keep the kids healthy. All in all it was a very encouraging morning.
We then were picked up to go back to the orphanage for lunch. We were able to help pass out bread with peanut butter! It was so much fun to pass out peanut butter to all of the kids. The kids were so appreciative, and wanted to share. Mechelle and Lachelle kept trying to give me bites of their sandwiches. Very humbling, when they don't eat like this usually, they are eager to please and offer what they have. I can't believe and explain how much they are teaching me on being a better servant!
Mother Theresa's Hospital
A few words for the afternoon: NUMB and Spiritually devastated. As we were dropped off, we knew we were going to help bathe and feed little ones and possibly older adults. I never expected to see or feel the things that were about to unfold before me. Walking in the aroma of urine, feces, and vomit hit you before you can catch your breath. I looked around and saw 33+ metal infant cribs lined in rows in the first room, housing what can be described no better than bones/limp bodies. These children didn't resemble my idea of even a baby that was malnourished would look like. I could count every rib, if we handled them wrong their skin may tear or their tiny bones may break. These children lay motionless, whimpering, struggling to breathe some of them, shallow respiration's, kids that look past you and don't reach up to be loved on. I felt like the breath had been knocked out of me. I felt worthless, numb, angry, hurt, and amazed that this actually exists. The vision that is burned on my retinas is FAR worse than any feed the children add, and those always have the ability to capture my heartstrings. I eagerly asked a Nun if I could change a baby or wash, or do anything. Here are children laying in their own feces/urine and vomit crusted to the chin/neck. As we came in it was the winding down of nap time. You could tell the Nun felt ashamed as I was persistent in asking what I could do. It was almost as if she didn't want me to see what the grave reality of the situation was. She said no, she was fine, just to help feed them in an hour. However I needed to DO something, I was afraid if I didn't do something I would physically shut down and start to weep. We walked out quickly and yes I lost it. Thankful for my sunglasses. After a little bit, I went back in and asked the Sister again. Finally Sister Margarete allowed us to hold babies. She said "There are too many of them (babies) and only 5 Nuns to hold." The kids had bracelets on identifying name, age, and admitting numbers. Eager to learn names to pray I was stunned and sickened by age vs. weight and motor skills etc. that were reality. Everything I knew came crashing down. Lord, forgive me for being SO selfish. Lord, how can something like this exist? I don't understand. HELP GOD PLEASE!! Bring someone to help or please take these babies out of their current Hell. I gazed at a 5yr old that probably at best weighed in a little over 20lbs. A 1 1/2yr old that maybe weighed 10lbs. Lord where are you? I wish my arms were stronger and larger, I can only hold two, three at most. I am falling apart.... We helped feed the babies, the infant I was feeding just threw up on me...one of the sister's told me it was because she just came the day before and she is so hungry and her body can't handle the food yet. JESUS HELP. The Nun is worried about my clothing, seriously? I don't care about my shirt. What about IV fluids? What about enteral feedings? I AM ANGRY THAT THERE ISN'T MEDICAL EQUIPMENT TO TAKE CARE OF THESE BABIES!
After feeding the children Sister Leese was talking with me, she asked when I am coming back, all I could respond is I'd love to come back with my husband. Reality is, could Chip handle a day like today? And, would I actually want his eyes and heart to be burdened with such despair? I would love to bring back a team to do just baths, changing diapers, HOLDING, and feeding. Of course going from here to the orphanage would instill more hope. Lord why do I feel SO discouraged? The Sisters are doing what they can. They go out to find these situations. THEY ARE HELPING! Is it enough? They are getting the kids healthy, they are seeing success, they are educating families....please allow me see the silver lining~